When two people are getting a divorce, they may often have excruciatingly embarrassing and damaging information about each other. This is one reason that divorce cases are so difficult emotionally and why they are unlike any other lawsuits. Two people who knew each other intimately are now pitted against each other and have to make decisions about what personal information to share with others.
Consider the Tiger Woods divorce. How many people now know details of Tiger’s private life? I, for one, never wanted to know about this. While the wisdom of his choices and the public’s thirst for sordid details have lead to many articles, posts and discussions, the fact remains that the private details of a man’s (and his family’s) life have been played out for all the world to see.
For a divorcing spouse in possession of negative information, the following questions must be considered:
1. Will revealing the information help my case or just make me feel better?
2. How will I feel years from now about the way I handled this case? Will I regret not “speaking up?” Will I feel I was too harsh?
3. Will using or not using this information harm or help my children?
4. Will using this information harm my professional image, or that of my spouse?
5. Will refusing to reveal this information negatively impact my case?
6. Will my decision about what to do with this information cost me more/less in attorney fees?
Sometimes using the information is necessary in order to fight for a fair share of the estate and the ability to survive financially. In other cases, using the information may have such a negative impact on the business opportunities of one or both spouses that the financial strain will be felt long after the divorce is over.
When there are children involved, the parties should consider the potential impact on their relationships with both parents, balanced against the need to pursue the case more aggressively. There times when there is not only a responsibility but a legal duty to reveal issues that may cause an unsafe environment for children. Behaviors such as child abuse, possession of child pornography, and drunk driving belong in these categories. In these cases, reporting to authorities may be required, and the court needs this information to adequately decide the case.
When “discovery” documents are served on a party, certain documents and things MUST be revealed. However, HOW this information will be used is a “case strategy” decision that a qualified, experienced divorce attorney must help his/her client to make. Like every other good decision, it is arrived at by weighing the options, the pros and cons. A good divorce lawyer will help you to decide what to do, with due regard for the time and money that you want to spend, the result you want to achieve, and the future that you want to create.
Kalish Law Office has been providing divorce services to clients in The Woodlands, Houston, and Conroe area for over 26 years.
