KalishLawTexas' legal blog The Woodlands

Can you really ever prepare for a divorce?  Although people handle divorce differently, you can do some advance preparation from a legal point of view.   It is harder to prepare emotionally, even if you are the one who desires the divorce, and even you know that it is the only option. Counseling can help prepare you for the emotional ups and downs that follow.

Legally, there are some things that you can do to get ready.  Many people try to "tough it out", not asking for help or advice and hoping that everything will fall into place when the time comes.  But having a legal consult well in advance can help make things easier for everyone.

At a legal consult, you can discuss:

1. What are the options for dividing the property?

2. Are any of the property, accounts, or debts likely to be considered one spouse's "separate property"?

3. How can a family business be divided?

4. How can bonuses that are earned, but not yet paid be divided?

5. What might happen with income tax liability or an income tax refund?

6. What amount of child support am I likely to recieve/be required to pay?

7. What are the options for custody and visitation?

8. What about dating during the divorce?

9.  How do I deal with issues of cruelty or infidelity in the marriage?

10. How long does it take to file the paperwork?

11. How will my spouse be notified that I filed?

12. How much does it cost?

13. How long does it usually take to get divorced?

14. How do we do this without missing payments on the house or car?

15. Will I be able to move away with my children after the divorce?

16.  Can I buy a home or refinance our home while I am getting a divorce?

17. What if we can't come to an agreement and have to go to trial?

The initial consult can help you understand all of your options and help you decide if you are really sure that you want to proceed. Everything that you discuss is confidential, and you don't have to proceed with a divorce. You can go away and think about it and return later, or never.  

If you are contemplating a divorce, don't be hesitant to learn all that you can to help in your decision-making process.  

Kalish Law Office "Passionate, Professional and Personal.  We Make the Difference".  Since   1984.

We are often called on to consult with prospective adoptive parent(s) about potential foreign adoptions.   In some of these cases, the child is already known to the parent(s). The “known” child may be a relative or “friend of a friend”. 

Stricter international adoption laws have been enacted in recent years, in order to prevent child abductions, selling of children and abuse of the system. These laws also prevent adoptions which are sought solely in order to circumvent other immigration laws.

The Hague Convention on International Adoption is now law in many countries. The 'normal' procedure involves potential parents applying to adopt and waiting to be matched with a child, therefore it is much more difficult to adopt a “known” child.  There are “exceptions”, but these are often poorly defined and difficult to prove.   Therefore, a couple who wants to adopt a niece or nephew, or a child of a friend  may have a difficult (or impossible)  goal in mind (depending on the circumstances and the countries involved).

The paragraphs above apply to "Hague Adoptions".  In the case of a U.S. parent seeking to adopt from a foreign country that has not ratified the Hague Convention, a different set of laws apply. Still other difficulties can arise. 

Each adoption is different, and the facts of the case and the laws of the individual countries must be considered.   There is not one, standardized model to follow, and the laws can be confusing.  Under this system, it is  possible for a couple to go to a foreign country, adopt a child under the laws of that country, and never be able to legally bring the child to the United States.  (this can even happen if one of the adoptive parents is a citizen of the foreign country).

Due to the changes in international adoption law and also in U.S. immigration law, it is not safe to assume that as long as the adoption is done “for the right reasons” everything will be fine.   If the laws are not followed specifically, and the steps done in the proper order, a family can end up in a situation where family unification is difficult or impossible.    Another costly and exhausting scenario involves having to void an improperly obtained adoption and re-do  the entire thing, in the proper order and with the proper documentation. There is always the potential for something to go wrong the second time, which would be a heartbreaking situation.

After many years of working with foreign adoptions, if I were asked to give one piece of advice to potential parents it would be this:  PLEASE, get ALL of the facts about ALL of the laws involved and seek a legal consult EARLY with an attorney who is familiar with international adoption law, U.S. immigration law and the family law of your state.  Do this BEFORE you fall in love with a child and BEFORE you make plans which affect the future of the entire family.  

Kalish Law Office has been representing adoptive families since 1984.  

If you are planning a divorce, you should be aware that you may be able to receive temporary spousal support while the divorce is pending, if you make significantly less than your spouse, you are unemployed or you are unable to work.

In order to receive this, you will need to have the judge sign “Temporary Orders”. These orders can be agreed to by both spouses, arrived at after a contested court hearing, or be entered after mediation, as a mediated agreement. 

Spousal support is separate from child support, but child support is given priority and the amount of child support that is being paid, if any, will be considered.

You should be prepared to show detail about your expenses and needs, going back several months.  Be ready to show evidence, and specific numbers, about what your needs have been and what you realistically expect them to be during the time the divorce is pending.  

Kalish Law Office The Woodlands, Texas; "Passionate, Professional and Personal. We Make the Difference." Since 1984. 

Once a Texas will has been properly drafted and executed, the original should be kept in a safe place.  This should be a place that is dry and safe, such as a fireproof box.  The will may also be kept in a safe deposit box, however, this is not always the best option because it will be less accessible. A safe deposit box should only be used if someone other than the testator (person who signed the will) has access to the box. Ideally, the other person with access will not be someone who often travels with the Testator because there would still be a problem if something should happen to the two of them together.  Therefore, I always advise married couples who want to place their original wills in a safe deposit box to be certain that a third person has access to the box.

If a will is lost and cannot be found, it is possible to submit a copy to the probate court where a probate case is filed.  The Texas Probate Code specifically allows for this, however, there is no guarantee that the document will be accepted by the probate judge as valid and current (unrevoked), especially if there is other evidence to the contrary.

Therefore, it is always best to be very careful to keep the original will safe at all times, and if it cannot be located when needed to make a complete and diligent search for the will. Keep it safe and dry, with other important documents and be sure that you know where it is at all times.

Kalish Law Office The Woodlands, Texas 281-363-3700 "Passionate, Professional and Personal. We Make the Difference".  Since 1984  Check out our probate page on our website for additional information

In previous blog posts, I have written about resources that are available to help elder family members.   The previous blog posts discussed how to best communicate, how to find AARP resources, hospice care, Meals on Wheels, Alzheimer Resources, and contained other important links. Another online resources is the web publishing company Assisted Living Today.  

After the publication of the last blog post, a reader who works with Assisted Living Today (an online web publishing company) contacted me and gave me permission to share the informational guides on that website with our readers.

 In September, 2011, the site posted an infographic about nursing home closures in the U.S. which shows a visual breakdown of the impact of the growing elderly population and diminishing available nursing homes.

That site contains a lot of information, including an  Assisted Living Care Guide

And additional guides:

• Memory Care Guide
• Nursing Home Guide
• Care Home Guide
• Independent Living Guide

Decisions regarding a loved one's care are difficult to make and the choices and options may seem overwhelming. Having access to information and resources is important in making the best choices.

Thank you to Katelyn Roberts, Assisted Living Today.  Disclaimer: Kalish Law Office is not associated with Assisted Living Today and did not receive any compensation for this blog post.  Kalish Law Office does not endorse Assisted Living Today and has not reviewed the content of Assisted Living Today for accuracy.  This blog post is merely presented as an informational option to assist our readers in gathering information.

Kalish Law Office is located in The Woodlands, Texas, north of Houston.   “Passionate, Professional and Personal. We Make the Difference.” Since 1984  www.kalishlawtexas.com  281-363-3700

The Texas Department of Motor Vehicles has an informative pamphlet titled “Your vehicle title needs maintenance, too.”  The pdf version of this pamphlet is downloadable.

Some of the information provided:

1. You can sign up for an email reminder that will come to you when it is time to renew your vehicle registration at www.TxDMV.gov
2. When transferring a car in a private sale, it is best for the buyer and seller to go to the DMV together and transfer the title.
3. As prior owner of the vehicle, you can file a Vehicle Transfer Notification when you sell, donate, trade-in, or give your vehicle to someone as a gift. This will remove you as legal owner and protect you from liability associated with use of the vehicle. Do this within 30 days.
4. Forms for vehicle transfer are found on the Texas DMV website
5. You can keep your license plates. Be sure to remove the windshield registration and don’t forget to take your EZ tag if you have one.
6. Buyers should make sure they are getting a clean title and that the vehicle gets titled in their name. Buyer has 20 days to apply for a new title without being charged a penalty.
7. A temporary vehicle transmit permit can be downloaded from the website if the seller took the license plates.
8. The website also contains information about title checks, lemon law, and other consumer information.

Kalish Law Office 281-363-3700 www.kalishlawtexas.com 

The Medical Information Bureau is a corporation owned by about 470 member insurance companies in the U.S. and Canada.  The organization collects information on consumers’ credit, medical conditions, health care information, medical test results, auto accidents, poor driving records and risky activities and hobbies as well.

The stated purpose of all this information collection is to prevent fraud and help insurance companies assess risk.

You have the right to receive a copy of your file once a year, at no charge. 

The information in this databank can significantly impact your ability to obtain health, life, disability, or long-term care insurance. Therefore, you should know what information your file contains.  You should also check the report for accuracy, and work to correct any errors, omissions or misinformation that you find. (Just like you would do with a credit report).

 In order to request a copy of your report, you should call the appropriate phone number.  The phone interview is automated and will take about 5 minutes.   Your request will then be processed and your records sent.   To obtain these records, call the following numbers:

 United States: 866-692-6901

 Canada:  Follow this link for more information. 

Please note that if you have not applied for life, health or disability insurance in the last 7 years, the MIB will not have a file on you.

It is philosophy of Kalish Law Office that everyone should know their legal rights in order to make informed choices.   Our law blogs are written with that goal in mind.   We are located in The Woodlands, Texas, north of Houston.  Click here for our main website:  www.kalishlawtexas.com 

There is a specific procedure under Texas Family Law for having gestational agreements recognized and validated by a court. The Texas law must be followed, with the proper legal procedures done in the order, so that the intended parents are the full and final legal parents of the child, and the other parties involved do not retain any parental rights and responsibilities relating to the child.

Gestational agreements used to be called “surrogacy agreements”.

“Surrogate mother” = a woman who bears a child for another woman, whether or not the surrogate mother contributes her own eggs.

“Gestational mother”= a woman who bears a child for another woman who does not contribute her own eggs and is not genetically linked to the child.

Texas law says that

-the gestational mother cannot be the genetic mother of the child. 

-there have to be two “intended parents” and they have to be married, to each other

- The intended mother must demonstrate to the court through medical evidence that she is unable to give birth to a child, unable to carry a child to term, or unable to give birth without unreasonable health risks to herself or the child

- The gestational mother must have had at least one previous pregnancy and delivery and no unreasonable health risks

- The gestational mother does not have to be married, but if she is, her husband must be a party to the contract

- The child must be conceived through assisted reproduction

- The gestational mother, her husband (if she is married), and the donors (if there are any donors other than the intended parents) must relinquish all parental rights and duties to the child that is conceived

-the agreement must specify who is paying for the health care expenses

-the agreement must be validated in a court at least 14 days before the embryo is implanted in the gestational mother

- Agreements which are not validated by a court will be unenforceable

- The court may order a home study of the intended parents (and likely will do so)

- The intended parents must be “fit” to be intended parents (just as adoptive parents must show their parental fitness)

- The gestational mother and the intended parents exchange health information throughout the gestational period

- The gestational mother has the right to safeguard her health and the health of the embryo and the gestational agreement may not interfere with those rights

-the prospective gestational mother or the intended parents must have resided in Texas for 90 days preceding the date the petition to validate the gestational agreement is filed in a Texas court

It is not recommended that parties enter into “Informal” gestational agreements which do not follow the Texas law. Texas courts will not validate these and there are risks that one or more of the parties may change their mind, that a party who didn’t expect it may be held liable for child support, or that there a conflict may arise about who has the right to custody of the child.  The risks of a child being in “legal limbo” or a subject of a multi-party custody battle are simply not worth taking a chance!

A gestational mother can end the agreement before she becomes pregnant.

Not all states recognize gestational agreements, and even among those states which do, there are differences in the law.  This is a somewhat controversial area, and definitely one in which we will see further legal development in the years to come.

Kalish Law Office in The Woodlands Texas: Family lawyers since 1984.  Gestational agreements, Adoption law, and family law affecting children.  281-363-3700 www.kalishlawtexas.com

The last two blog posts have dealt with helping and caring for elderly adults.    During my research on this subject, I have discovered a number of valuable resources that I’d like to share.

1.  AARP www.aarp.org :   AARP has a wealth of information online. The website is available in English and Spanish.   There are various articles and a “Caregiver Resource Center”.  Here is a link to an article about helping elderly parents move. http://aarp.us/pbVQ6g  .  Real people share real life stories. 

2. Some Recommended Books:

Caring for Your Parents, The Complete AARP Guide by Hugh Delehanty & Elinor Ginzler

How to Say it To Seniors; Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders, by David Solie

Social Security, Medicare and Government Pensions,  Nolo Press

3. Other online sources:

The Mayo Clinic:  Aging Parents; 5 Warning Signs of  Health Problems http://bit.ly/aY89e

Medicare Rights Center http://www.medicarerights.org 

Meals on Wheels Association www.mowaa.org

National Association of Area Agencies on Aging www.n4a.org

National Institute on Aging; Alzheimer’s Disease Education & Referral Center http://1.usa.gov/Be7aj

Family Caregiver Alliance www.caregiver.org

National Respite Locator Service  www.respitelocator.org

Aging With Dignity  www.agingwithdignity.org

HospiceNet  www.hospicenet.org

I hope that these resources will prove helpful to any of our readers who are facing this situation now or planning for the future.

Kalish Law Office www.kalishlawtexas.com   The Woodlands, Texas

My last blog post dealt with caring for and helping senior adults, and mentioned some of the challenges that you are likely to encounter.   Now I want to share my review of a book that I discovered.  

”How to Say it to Seniors; Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders” by David Solie (Prentice Hall Press © 2004) is an excellent guide to communicating with senior adults.    I highly recommend this book for anyone who is dealing with senior adults in a family or a business relationship.

Mr. Solie is a speaker and educator. He has a background in finance, and worked for several years with companies that primarily dealt with senior adults. 

The book presents a fresh and honest perspective on the communication gap between seniors and middle-aged adults. 

We all go through developmental growth / personality development at different periods of our life, he writes.  What is seen too often as a “decline” in older adults can be seen as a normal developmental process. The older person is simply learning to deal with the changes in life, losses, and independence that aging brings.  

Solie states that “the secret mission” of older adults is to 1) maintain control and 2) leave a legacy.  He suggests ways to allow the person to keep control and dignity while dealing with the changes that the person is going through.  He explains why “trying to help” and explaining things logically (or, what is logical to the younger adult) meets with such strong and sometimes baffling resistance, why an older person’s focused occupation with a certain topic makes sense to them but seems obsessive to a younger person and how to deal with “NO!” 

It is written in a manner that is respectful to all concerned.  The concerns and frustrations of all sides are examined thoughtfully.   Various practical ways to approach common problems are suggested.  Although concerns over the elder’s safety and health are treated as serious, younger adults are also advised that sometimes they just have to “let go” and allow the elder person to choose their path.  The most progress is made when the elder person is allowed to maintain as much control and choice as possible.

Of course there are situations that have progressed to the point where physical, emotional or mental issues have rendered the person a danger to themselves or others and someone must step in immediately and take control.  But even those extreme situations can be helped by a willingness to see things from a slightly different viewpoint.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is dealing with older adults. It is pleasant reading, refreshingly honest, and without psychological, medical or legal mumbo-jumbo.  Just good, solid advice.

Kalish Law Office, The Woodlands, Texas.   www.kalishlawtexas.com Wills, Probate and Elder Law. “Passionate, Professional and Personal. We Make the Difference.” Since 1984